noctourniquet ..

perchu:

perchu:

perchu:

i just unzipped my pants

theroleofalifetime:

luigivanpeebles:

rabioheab:

instead of sending me nudes, send me photos of you wearing so many layers of clothes that you can’t even move 

this made me laugh out loud harder then I have in a longg time

(via f-cky)

oldprickbitches:

Omfg I was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vagina”

(via f-cky)

zealotarchaeologist:

i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”

it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud

(via f-cky)

perchu:

actualpuppypuckerman:

perchu:

petition to get kids bop to do a cover of “s&m” by rihana please

#they’d call it m&m (x)

i dont understand what did you just link me to

godnibblets:

I can’t begin to tell you how much I love the acting in gay porn.

(via perchu)

atokniiro:

Please don’t remove the artist’s caption/comment when you reblog a drawing/comic/etc.

I obviously can’t speak for everyone, but in my case the caption is often an addition to the joke, and if you take it away, you take away a part of my comic.

(via madhattergaz)

cashcrab:

you know the scene in charlie and chocolate factory where the one girl gets blown up into a big blueberry-looking thing… you could screencap that and put an instagram filter on it then put “Blue man group knocked up my bae” lol… Id do it myself but im only a 12 year old eskimo from alaska and im posting this from a palmpilot

(via madhattergaz)